“How much did your baby cost?”
“Did her birth mother use drugs?”
“Do you love her as much as you would your own child?”
Yes, adoptive families really do get asked questions like these!
People are naturally curious about adoption, and most aren’t trying to be rude or insensitive. But sometimes curiosity crosses a line, especially when the question involves personal details that belong to the adopted child.
In this episode of Let’s Talk Adoption, Kim King and Heather Featherston tackle some of the nosiest questions people ask adoptive families. Some are funny. Some are awkward. And some give us a great opportunity to clear up common misconceptions about modern adoption.
In this episode, we talk about questions like:
- How much did your baby cost?
- Did the birth mother use drugs?
- Why did her “real” mother give her away?
- What’s wrong with the birth mother?
- Was the birth mother a teenager?
- Do you know who the father is?
- Did the birth mother get paid?
- Can the birth mother come back and take the baby?
- Do you love an adopted child as much as a biological child?
- Couldn’t you have children of your own?
- Why didn’t you just adopt from foster care?
- Did you get to pick the baby?
- Did you change the baby’s name?
- Does the child know they’re adopted?
- Aren’t you afraid they’ll want their “real” family someday?
Along the way, we talk about the difference between curiosity and privacy, why the words we use around adoption matter, and why some parts of an adoption story simply aren’t ours to share.
Most importantly, remember that an adopted child’s medical history, prenatal exposure, birth family circumstances, and other personal details are part of their story. They may choose to share those details someday, or they may not.
Have you heard a nosy adoption question we missed?
Send it to us…We may need a “Part Two”!
